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(EMAILWIRE.COM, June 29, 2013 ) San Francisco, CA -- Secretary of State John Kerry initiated a secret email exchange with the Taliban in order to show there was a basic groundwork for peace. However, the letters look more like two passive aggressive high-school 'frenemies' laying down nothing more than smack talk.
The exchange has now been reprinted, and is without either commentary or excessive redaction. The first email is from Kerry to Mullah Omar, and is as follows:
“As my generation is fond of saying, “what a long, strange trip it’s been.” But, as you know, we’re hoping to get out of that country of yours, and would really appreciate some cooperation in that effort. I’m confident America and the Taliban want the same thing — a peaceful, free Afghanistan that’s friendly to women’s rights, religious minorities and international business — and I think the only question now is how we best bring that about.
So how about this: you sever your ties with the bad guys once and for all, and we park our robot planes back in Utah. Deal?”
The rather condescending letter to a embattled faction living within a war-torn and impoverished country was a predictable one.
“I can report that Mullah Mohammad Omar, Commander of the Faithful of the Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan and leader of the Muslim Ummah, has received the letter you wrote. He has authorized that I respond as follows:
As surely as the world is flat, you and your infidel brethren will burn in a fiery inferno of hellish fire. We will never accept infidel domination of our lands, not of al-Andalus (Spain) or Palestine, and not lands that should and will one day be ours, which include all lands where beasts of the earth roam and all seas where fish proliferate.
My followers and I would rather bathe in pigs blood or spin a dreidel than meet for tea with an infidel member of the Zionist-Crusader alliance to negotiate anything. But in a spirit of mercy, I am prepared to make a generous offer.”
It should be noted, simply for the sake of understanding the statement, that the reference to the world being flat speaks to that one can stand on the ground, not that the entirety of the world is on a flat plane. The letter goes on to list demands from the Taliban including: The U.S. Military convert to Islam and beg for mercy. The military must overturn equipment to the Mujahideen and dissolve the United States. Tom Friedman must be fired from the New York Times.
Clearly neither side is much interested in having serious talks, and instead is only interest in taking a moment for almost light hearted jabs at one another.
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Benjamin Wrights
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Source: EmailWire.com
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